A kitesurfer at Fishhoek had a four and a half meter kite up on the day of my first Miller’s Run. If you speak Kite (which I do, because I am the GOAT Kite Widow) it means that either the kitesurfer is the size of Tinkerbell or the wind is stronger than you can imagine. Anyway, the husband ID’d the…
Category: THE KOOK DIARIES
Six Degrees of Kai Lenny
Did you know that when someone writes ‘an SUP’ it means they say Ess Yew Pea? Uh huh. Indefinite article vibes. Surfers of the lie-down-arm-paddle variety say Ess Yew Pea all the time. And why is that a problem, you may ask? Well for starters I’ve noticed that sometimes it’s a teeny weeny clue that the person may have a bit of disdain…
The chronicles of longboarding
The first time I went out on a longboard was in the honeymoon years. Not the actual honeymoon, but those times when you try to impress your hottie and do things he enjoys even if you are terrified/have absolutely no interest. So he pushed me onto a wave in the shorebreak at St Francis Bay (at the time I had…
How to Lose your Nerve in Five K’s – the wahine guide to downwinding.
Once upon a time I read a terrifying book about a a man who walked alone from Canada to the North Pole and fell through a crack in the ice into the Arctic Ocean. He didn’t die, but the thought of all that water (plus the entire globe) below him haunted me. I realize that I have read or heard…
When you feel like giving up, hold on.
On Friday I decided to quit. No more surfing for me. It’s too hard. Maybe it is because I watched the JBay Open where the surfing was at the level of the gods and showed me where I was on a scale of zero to poop. Or maybe it was because my leash got snagged between my toes just before…
The Kook Diaries Part 4. On biting off more than you can chew.
The ocean was glassy and inviting as I leapt onto my 14 foot flat water racing SUP with glee. “To the lighthouse,” they said. “And back.” “It’s not that far,” I said to the husband, as we peered out across False Bay from Fish Hoek beach. “It’s like to the bridge and back at Kromme.” Right. Except Kromme is an…
The Kook Diaries Part 3: Paddle Outs and Pop Ups.
I choose to Stand Up Paddle because of the paddle, really. I prefer going into battle upright, with a weapon. So when they (they = Tarryn + Tyran @ XOTB) decreed that we were going out on surfboards (it was too windy to SUP), my heart sank a little. I have never surfed a surfboard before because of the paddle out. (At…
SUP-Mageddon (The Kook Diaries part II)
Stoked that Zigzag published another of my dubious surf stories, SUP-Mageddon, in their online edition. SUP-MAGEDDON (The Kook Diaries – Part II) – by: Melissa Volker Wahine Wednesday. Sounds interesting right? That’s what I thought. But, really, I should have known better. After all, there’s that other Wednesday in surfing. You know. The one with Airwolf and no wahines…
The Thinking Girl’s Guide to Life with a Surfer (The Kook Diaries Part 1)
It’s an unforgettable day. The morning haze lifts as the sun starts its daily ascent, scattering sequins across the ocean. A creature of splendid proportions emerges from the sea, clad in neoprene, and high on stoke. But he’s not the only one on cloud nine. It’s a sparkling day because you realize That Surfer is into You. Not because you…
Melissa A Volker 